It has been 6 months and 5 days since I last talked to my baby brother. 6 months and 5 days since I last got one of his wonderful hugs. 6 months and 5 days since I talked to him on the phone. 6 months and 5 days since I saw him alive.
Of course every time we are with family it is very special. Living 12-13 hours from our families we learn to never take any time for granted with any of them. We really do treasure time spent with our families, but March 15, 2009 is a day I will treasure the rest of my life. It is the day that I last got to see my brother, alive. I can not even put into words how much that day, or rather evening means to me. Greg, the kids, and I were able to have dinner with Kyle. Little did I know I that it would be the last time I would get to have dinner with him, talk to him, or hug him. There are days that I sit and replay that evening through my head. I just hope he left there that night knowing just HOW much I love him and how very proud of him I am.
I still to this day, still have a hard time understanding he is gone. It just doesn't make sense. My mind still holds onto that last evening and I can still see him sitting there across the table from me, sitting next to Alexa. I can remember him smiling his amazing smile and looking down at his niece. The love he had for her just pouring out. As I sat there watching him cut up her food, I remember smiling and thinking that he would make an amazing daddy someday. Of course I hoped it wouldn't be too soon, but I knew that when the time was right, he would be a wonderful dad! Little did I know that he wouldn't ever get that chance. And I wouldn't get the chance to see him with his own children. Getting to see him with my children are memories that will last a lifetime. I will also make sure that Alexa and Dylan will ALWAYS know who their Uncle Kyle is and just how much he loved them.
The pain I still feel is great and I do not see it lessening any time soon. These last 6 months have been the toughest of my life, there is no question there. But through it all God has still been there. I know he had a hand in how things happened. The fact that we were able to see Kyle 5 days before he died was God, without a doubt. The fact that we were still in Gillette when Kyle died is again all God. I do not understand why Kyle had to die at 20 and why God would take him from us when he did, but I know that God is still there and still faithful.
I love you and miss you beyond words Kyle Ray. Know that you are missed by so many and YOU changed so many lives for the better. I can not wait until I can see you again in Heaven!
A lifetime of memories.........
It has been 6 months since this amazing person left this earth to be in a better place. You were such an amazing brother, Uncle, and friend. I am who I am today because you were in my life Kyle. You always knew how to make me laugh and gave the world's best hugs! I am blessed to have been your sister for the 20 years of your life. In 20 years you touched more lives then most people do in a lifetime. You were that person that everyone turned to, the person that everyone could count on, the person that loved with his whole heart. When people were loved by you, they knew it! Thank you for being you, Kyle. Thank you for all the memories that will live on forever. Thank you for sharing your life with me! Thank you for loving me and being the most amazing brother! I will love you and miss you the rest of my life!!
4 comments:
i wasnt blessed to get to know your brother but your blog just left tears in my eyes. im crying and praying with you today and sending my hugs across the many miles that separate us!
i love you misty!
Misty - wow that was great - reading the blog and listening to that song on your blog that was played at Kyle's funeral -made me cry - everytime I here that song it gives me goosebumbs and I replay the slide show in my head! Kyle was an amazing person - I didn't know him when he was older but I remember him when he was younger and all those times I would stay at your Dad and Nancy's (The brown house by Pronghorn) and he always wanted to be with us and hanging out - he loved you so much and looked up to you! You can tell just by looking at his face in some of those pictures with Alexa and Dylan how happy he was and you could tell he loved them VERY much - you were lucky to have him as your brother and he's even more lucky that he had you as a big sister! I am praying for you and your family on this 6month mark and as time goes on - you are so amazing to keep his life alive and always talk, share memeories, and your feelings about him to anyone who will listen - Take care and I wish I could give a big huge! Hang in there:)
Thank you Pooh. As always, it made me cry. It helps me know that some one else loves and misses him as I do. You are able to put in words what I can't so again, Thank you. Kyle was so special and a blessing to me. As you are. Although you two were nothing a like in some areas, you are very a like in others. So caring, loving and kind. Love Always, Nan
Sending you my love. I delayed reading this because I knew it would make me cry, and it did. What a gift to have such an amazing brother in your life, even if it was cut short. Thank you for sharing.
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